I guess posting during amphetamine-induced psychosis has lost it's appeal eh?

Have you ever tried getting high by sniffing denture adhesive?

So I was lying on this grassy knoll, had a few beers and a few joints, I drifted away for a couple of minutes but was woken up by a loud bang, a car backfiring or something.
I told them to keep the fuckin noise down then went back to sleep.
cunts

Yawn. Hasn't your liver failed yet?

So I was in the jail saw this guy getting a kicking,
Blood eveywhere and he was screaming for mercy.
I said to the guy beside me "what's he getting a doing for?"
He said "that's Avenue_1 the kiddy fiddler"
Apparently he got brain damage after that incident and every time he yawned he would get an erection.
This led to many embarrassing incidents and criminal charges including a ban from his local swimming pool.

Great story tak.

So I was driving this cunt Franz Ferdinand home, I had a cunt of a hangover. Had been out on the piss the night before.
He said "left here"
I was a bit fuckin pissed off with the stuck up cunt by this time so i turned right.
got up the street a bit then reversed a bit, then some cunt ran up and shot him.
can't say i was too bothered about it at the time.

So I said to Hitler, who had the funny moustache first?
You or Charlie Chaplin?
He said it was him.
I didn't believe him.
So i asked him if he was addicted to amphetamine, he said he took it on a social basis.
Fair enough i said but remember speed kills.
He said not as much as the gas chamber.
I said you're a sick fucker.
He shrugged his shoulders and took another gram.

... Pretty sure Tak is channelling the voices in his head again.

Tak, take one of the blue pills!

Looks to me that he took a few red pills already

So I was watching the TV the other day.
There was a program on about this fuckin fat lying Spanish bitch who lied she was in the Twin Towers when the planes hit them.
So I travelled to see the fat cunt.
I said "you lying cunt that is so disrespectful especially to people like me who were in the twin towers when atrocity happened."
Then I remembered I wasn't in the twin towers when the planes crashed into them, I was on a tightrope linked between them.

It was a cold and wet December day
When we touched the ground at JFK
So I told the cunts to put the heating up.

I told god to shove his proxy cause i was going to bed.
He's a grumpy old cunt but he's my mate.
He'll understand.

Keep 'm coming

So I was playing Phil Taylor at darts. (World Championship)
Thought to myself see if that fat cunt's not looking I could just walk up and stick them in the treble 20.
So next time it was my turn I had a we look behind me, he was sipping water and nodding to crowd.
So I just walked up and stuck 3 darts in the treble 20.
180!
I turned round the wee fat cunt had a look on his face, I knew he had seen me but he said fuck all.
The power my arse.

So I was at the Grand Prix.
Lidl had a new team and a new driver. ME!
Passed that cunt Lewis Carroll or whatever his fuckin name is, gave him the loser sign and told him I'd pumped his bird.
He was pretty pissed off but not as much as when I lapped him and done the same again.

So I was in the Colosseum battling it out with another gladiator.
20 brutal minutes of fighting,
I didn't get the better of him (well Russel Crow is pretty tough)
So it was a stalemate, Caesar stood up......we waited.
He put his thumb down,
I said "fuck you ya fackin prick come down here and i'll bite your fuckin face of ya knob"
He put his thumb up
I went for a beer with Russ.
(put a bottle over his heid later, fuckin dick)

So I bumped into Santa the other day,
I said "So is that it?"
Santa "Is what it?"
"you only work one day a year?"
Santa "Yes"
"No wonder you're a fat cunt, what do you do the other 364 day? Do you sign on the dole?"
Santa "Yes"
"Fair enough, easy number, wouldn't mind it myself"

So I said to Maradonna,
"I challenge you at keepy ups"
"ok"
"you go first"
he shit himself, bottle crashed had a grand total of 7.
I done 22000
"Hand of god ya prick, just as well you done it against England and not Scotland or you'd be eating oot a straw for 3 months"

So I said to George Foreman,
"Rumble In the Jungle?
It was more like a fumble"
pair of fuckin benders.
Fair enough the big man's made a fortune out of the grill.

keep em comming tak

think hes won every year now from 2008/9